Is Online Dating A “No” For You? (Part I)
It WAS a “no” for me. But I changed my mind, maybe you would too?
In the past, I was very closed to the idea of online dating because of the attached negative connotations. For some reason, I used to think that online dating was something people did if they were desperate or when they wanted to “play around” with love.
But with a deeper analysis of this way of dating, I gradually became more open towards it and eventually even had the courage to give it a try! So, if you are still apprehensive or “sitting on the fence” about (trying) online dating, let me share my opinions on some pros of online dating. I am not here to change your mind, I just want to help open your mind to this method of dating instead.
First of all, it is safer to assume that everyone you see on the dating sites are seeking for love, as compared to real life.
In real life, when you look at someone, it is (extremely) hard to discern if they are single and available. Usually, you can only guess and wonder. But on those dating apps, it is fair for you to assume so.
Next, one huge advantage would be the ease of filtering who we don’t want to date, thanks to dating profiles.
Let’s assume that what people have written on their profiles are true and authentic, so no catfishing. When viewing a person’s profile, you can swiftly decide to “swipe left” if they have a deal breaker of yours. To cite an example, smoking is a no-go for me. So that’s the first “attribute” I check in a profile. If they indicate “yes” or “sometimes” for smoking, it’s an immediate no for me. Elimination based on certain attributes is made so much easier because of the upfront visibility from the profiles, and we can spare wasting time. However, take note that not every deal breaker of yours may be reflected in the profile fields or filter settings.
Furthermore, with dating apps, meeting and talking to many new people for romance is no longer such a daunting and unachievable task.
In fact, it is merely within one tap’s or message’s reach! This is a huge plus when compared to real life. Seriously, how often do you walk up to someone you find attractive and initiate talking to them to get to know them better? If you do so often, please give me some of your confidence 😂
Last but not least, would be the practice of texting before deciding whether to meet in person.
I acknowledge that this may not be a pro for everyone. After all, real life interactions are generally more authentic. We can understand someone better with the added elements of tone and body language on top of words. Also, some are not a great fan of texting. However, when it comes to online dating, you will come across a myriad of personalities and may simultaneously talk to multiple people. If we were to meet everyone we “swiped right” on in real life, we would have to dedicate a lot of time and money to online dating. That is not realistic. Besides the materialistic aspect, some may find texting at the start to be safer and more comfortable. You are “shielded” by a screen and given the space to craft your replies properly. To me, texting is alike to the “next round” after “swiping right” and if things go well enough, then you can move onto the “next round” of going out in person. In short, online dating typically has more layers of filtering, and you may find this “culture” favorable in helping you to narrow down to “the one”.
To sum up, online dating has its plus points as compared to organic dating, but the converse is true as well.
Which method we choose all boils down to perspectives and preferences. With the use of dating apps, we give ourselves the opportunity to meet more people, while not letting go of what matters to us in our partner(s). At the end of the day, online dating is fundamentally just another way of dating, which emerged with the rise of the Internet and social media.
You can read part 2 here!